Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Kickstarter This

In case you missed it, this genius idiot has now raised more than FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on Kickstarter to make a freaking potato salad. People are giving this dude their hard-earned money to let this guy make a $10 lunch that according to him, "might not be that good."

Now, I have nothing against Kickstarter and Indiegogo, having donated my own scarce cash to the Veronica Mars movie, the Reading Rainbow project, and other cool projects my friends have started. And I'm not even against doing things for irony's sake, as I "ironically" watch things like The Bachelorette and actually really want to go to that Williamsburg artisan mayonnaise store. But c'mon people. This guy has essentially been given $50,000 for absolutely nothing at all. We're better than that.

But let's be honest here. The real reason I'm so incensed is because I didn't come up with this idea myself. I only wish people had told me it was this easy! I have a laundry list of things I could Kickstarter that I'd love to abuse the hipster population with. For example:
  • I need to pay my rent. 
    • Reward: I won't be squatting in your home
  • The search for the best donut in America. Need to take a cross-country road trip to find out where it is. 
    • Reward: I'll tell you where this donut is. Maybe.
  • Goal: Finding the perfect temperature and time for microwaving popcorn. 
    • Reward: You now know the secret to my crappy microwave!
  • I'd like to stop dieting and just get liposuction already.
    • Reward: One less fatty in America
  • Must know the perfect Coke Zero combination in the Coca-Cola Freestyle machine
    • Reward: Secret recipe
  • I need to support my binge-watching habits so I'd just like to quit my job already
    • Reward: Definitive ranking of all of Netflix's shows
  • I heard that Australia is a really nice place to visit. I'd like to test this theory
    • Reward: I'll let you know whether, in fact, Australia is a really nice place to visit.
  • I live in the most expensive city in the country. Just give me money. 
    • Reward: Continued gentrification of Brooklyn. 

Monday, July 7, 2014

oh hello again

I'm the worst type of blogger in the blogosphere (bloggersphere? bloggycircle?) for several reasons: 1) I don't post with any sort of consistency, 2) I mainly blog about myself, treating this as an egotistical journal, and 3) I don't ever tap into the "current events" of the day, making this a fairly useless social commentary blog or thing for other people to read, in general.

That's kind of changed somewhat, as I now write about pop culture every Sunday at The Wannabes, a new pop culture commentary blog started by my friend Amanda. Over there I discuss Really Important and Serious Topics such as Harry Potter, Korean Dramas, BookCon, and TV Dads. The rest of The Wannabes contributors have interesting things to say though, so you should check it out anyway. 

As for this blog, I'm going to continue to post about whatever I want (aka myself. duh.) whenever I want because it's my blog and no one can stop me. Mwahaha. 

So with all that being said, here's what's been going on in my life lately. 

...Basically nothing. 

Just kidding. I looked through my photos and turns out some things did happen. Blast my short-term memory. See why this blog is necessary, even if only I read it?

I visited Utah! And got to see all these lovely people for the first time in a year. I miss them again already. NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO VISIT.

Kat and I made a Memorial Day excursion to D.C. Just chilling on the Capitol Lawn for a concert. 

Visited the best museum of all time. I could have spent all day in the newspaper archives room. No exaggeration.

Hollie graduated!

And then came and visited me for her birthday. It was fun to have her and Mom here for a weekend and show them my city. 

Cheese train. 

I love Coney Island. I've already been here like 3 times this summer. 

Fourth of July happened. Mostly I marathoned Orange is the New Black the whole day (THANKS RAIN), but ventured out to Sunset Park at night to get a decent view of the fireworks. With the Statue of Liberty and the NYC skyline in the background, nbd. 

I got a bike! And traveled like 26 miles this past weekend, because I'm a crazy person and don't need to have functioning legs. (Seriously, everything is sore). The Rockaways were beautiful though, so...WORTH IT.

Girls and Orange is the New Black came and filmed at our offices. Perks of having one of the best views of Times Square in your conference room, I guess. All I know is that Natasha Lyonne's hair really is that fabulous. 
That's about it for now. We'll see when I post on here again. I'm so unpredictable! 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014


This date crept up on me like the G Train, but it's true: I've officially lived in New York City for one full year. I've officially been a college grad for one full year. Crazy crazy crazy. To celebrate this exciting milestone, I'm paying a visit later tonight to the place where it all began: Junior's Cheesecake. But I first wanted to look back at this last year and remember all the amazing adventures I've had so far.

For example...In one year living in NYC, I've:
  • Done just about all the touristy things. Top of the Rock, Statue of Liberty, High Line, Brooklyn Bridge, Coney Island...I got all of these out of the way early. 
  • Eaten my weight in pizza and cheesecake and pastrami and halal
  • Biked around Central Park
  • Gotten lost in the Met, the American Museum of Natural History, the MOMA, and the Brooklyn Museum
  • Traveled on the subway at three in the morning with two homeless men as my companions
  • Fallen asleep on the subway and woken up at Brighton Beach
  • Heard every rendition imaginable of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" 
  • Been networked with on the subway
  • Been proposed to by my taxi driver
  • Been propositioned in the South Bronx
  • Been to a jazz concert in Harlem
  • Participated in film festivals, television festivals, and music festivals
  • Seen 14 Broadway shows
  • Had my name in a Playbill (off-off Broadway, but still)
  • Attended the cherry blossom festival at Brooklyn Botanic Garden
  • Gallery-shopped in Chelsea
  • Been to a Yankees game and a Mets game
  • Attended a live taping of SNL
  • Gobbled up the special concrete at each Shake Shack location
  • Ridden the Cyclone at Coney Island
  • Experienced the weirdness that is the Village Halloween Parade
  • Attended various free concerts and plays in Central Park
  • Warbled my way through Korean karaoke
  • Learned all the Jewish holidays in September
  • Read a book in the Rose Reading Room at the Schwarzman Library
  • Become best friends with the security guards at Grand Central Terminal
  • Devoured all the things at Smorgasburg
  • Taken a selfie with Zachary Quinto
  • Taken stalker photos of countless other celebrities
  • Marathoned movies at the Tribeca Film Festival
  • Sat on the Iron Throne
  • Learned what 100 degrees without air conditioning really feels like
  • Learned what taking public transit through a polar vortex really feels like
  • Lived in three different boroughs
  • Changed my personal definitions of "expensive" and "far away" and "smelly"
  • Learned how to place an order with Seamless in less than 30 seconds.
  • Hardened my heart towards tourists in Times Square
  • Felt inner pride when a lady asked me for directions and I knew what to tell her
  • Made some incredible friendships and memories to last a lifetime
Greatest friendship of them all

That's only a small list of things I've done this past year. You can click on the "New York" tag at the bottom to see some of my other posts I wrote about my time here so far.

However, there are still so many things I want to see and do. I plan to live here for a while, and I still don't feel I can fully call myself a New Yorker, at least not until I:
  • Discover more obscure, delicious restaurants to impress my visiting friends with. This includes completing the 196 Challenge (visiting one restaurant for every country in the world) 
  • Knock another girl to the ground at a sample sale
  • Attend an art fair at Roosevelt Island
  • Get a bicycle and bike around Prospect Park
  • Visit Greenwood Cemetery 
  • Go to a Knicks and a Nets game
  • Attend a taping of The Colbert Report before it's too late
  • Play chess in Washington Square Park
  • Visit the real Little Italy in the Bronx
  • Kayak on the Hudson River
  • Sing along at a drag show
  • Bowl and jam at Brooklyn Bowl
  • Find Brandon Stanton and get on Humans of New York
  • Get yelled at by Billy on the Street
  • Meet Amy Poehler at the UCB
  • Find myself saying "Fuhgeddaboutit" unironically
Please let this happen to me. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Being Friends with a Sister Missionary

*Dedicated my girls Shirley, Hollie, and Kristen. Welcome home.*

When your good friend tells you she's putting in her papers

She could get her call to Salt Lake City, but to you it might as well be...

When you say goodbye

When you get an actual letter from her in the mail

But then you only remember to write back once during her whole mission

Hearing stories about her crazy companions and investigators...

...as well as all the lives she's changing

When you try to describe what's going on in your own life...

...while omitting some details to not worry or distract her

When she tries to convince you to go on a mission as well

When she finally gets home

Even though you now live far away...

...it's now your job to help reintegrate her into society

First things first: the mission clothes have got to go

Credit to amenalready.tumblr.com for this one

Reassuring her about the dating pool

And even though you'll be hearing nothing but mission stories for the next two years...

...you're just so happy that she's finally back and so proud of all she's accomplished.

Sunday, March 16, 2014


It's starting to warm up here in New York City (well, except for on Tuesdays and Thursdays). That's just one of the things that made me happy this week, which was a doozy. For some reason all the things decided to happen in a week-long span. Here's what happened:

Monday: Serendipitously spotting the Veronica Mars cast while going to see The Grand Budapest Hotel (the wonderful new Wes Anderson flick). I may have screamed like a fangirl upon spotting Jason Dohring. I'm not ashamed. 

Tuesday: Lorde concert with Mia and Brittany. Highlights - spotting a stepping stool so Mia could see the action and Lorde's awkward dance moves. And that golden cape. 

Wednesday: Kat and Lauren and I rocked out to Ellie Goulding. Seriously tho, my girl Ellie can do no wrong. Singing, dancing, playing the drums AND guitar, being British...leave some talents for the rest of us, thanks.

Thursday: Dad came to NYC for work and stopped by to treat me to dinner. Love it when I get to see him! And he only teased me about my messy room once. 
Friday: Finally!! It happened!! I essentially paid $65 to help make this movie happen and it was worth every penny. The sass, the noir, the perfect father-daughter relationship, the LoVe - it's all there like it never left. I've seen it twice now (thanks, "free" download!) and it's even better the second time. Proud to be a marshmallow. 
Saturday: Idina Menzel is just perfect and her new musical is a delight. Same can be said for my NYC bffs. Thanks for helping make this week, as well as my 2014 in general, so awesome. (PS, Mia is now the newest NBC PAGE!! So, so proud of her. Watch out, 30 Rock.)

Sunday: Sleep. Precious, precious sleep.
Next week I'm taking it easy until Florida. Maybe there I'll be better at this blogging thing. 

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Finding Joy in the Dreary

New York City received more than 10 inches of snow in the last two weeks. I'm seriously ready to pack my bags and move permanently to Hawaii. However, there are a few perks to sticking it out in NYC for the winter. Here's a few bright spots so far in this dark and dreary winter:

I took a tour of Time Warner Cable Studios, where I got some free swag and sat on the Iron Throne.

Spoiler alert.

Saw The Glass Menagerie, which was an absolutely heartbreaking experience. The four performers were incredible and intense and gave me chills. Oh, and Mia and I took a selfie with Zachary Quinto.

He took this himself. He also apparently has the blood of a reptile; no gloves and an insufficient hat. 

I went ice skating for the first time in like three years and didn't fall down once. 2018 Olympics, here I come.

Taking a picture on ice is never advisable. 

Brittany convinced me to camp out with her at 2:30 in the morning for Saturday Night Live. It was freezing cold and I ended up with a minor flu, but it was so worth it. We somehow ended up in the front-middle of the balcony for Seth Meyers' last show (well, last dress rehearsal) and Amy Poehler waved at me. What's a measly flu next to that?

Numbers 59 and 60 in the standby line. Thanks again, no-shows.

After multiple unsuccessful attempts, I dragged my coworker Amber to The Book of Mormon lottery with me and she got called right away. Figures. Anyway, I loved it. It was a hilarious mix of both naughty and nice, and I honestly loved the overall message (hint: it's not about bashing religion. Too much).  There were so many jokes that I was dying at while other people in the theater seemed confused. Trey and Matt really know the minutiae of Mormon culture (yes, most of it is ridiculous and ripe for satire). And the songs....so great.

Mia discovered this play called The Woodsman and we went and watched it Friday night. It's a short, silent play about how the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz came to be. It incorporates puppetry and miming, and it was absolutely beautiful and stunning. If you're in New York right now I highly recommend it.

Amanda Adele Lederer, Carol Uraneck, Eliza Simpson in THE WOODSMAN at 59E59 Theaters.

Yeah, that's a lot of shows. But I'll let you in on a little secret - winter is the best time to see them. Not only is it a great activity to do indoors, but there also aren't as many tourists so prices are usually lower (or it's easier to win lottery).

So that's been my winter 2014 so far. Also, whenever I feel like complaining, I just remember #SochiProblems. At least I don't have to deal with dangerous face water or stray dogs in my room.

Ciao for now.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Is the month over yet?

Just realized I haven't posted in January yet! Probably because I hate this month so much. It's cold, gray, and depressing. But there have been some good things:

Some wonderful people have finally come back into my life and decided to also called NYC their home. I'm so excited to have Katrina, Mia, and Alex here now. Love these girls.

Mia's new butterfly apartment. 

I swear Alex is really happy to be here. 

While going back to full-day work weeks (and professional dress) has been stressful, it's actually been good to get back into the swing of things and I've started off the year with a few nice hits. Here's a fun segment I secured for the annual Squash Tournament of Champions held at Grand Central Terminal.

This picture.

I've been participating in the 28 Days of Fat Burn challenge with my health coach and team, and they've been a huge motivator in kicking off my diet for this new year. I'm now down to 220 pounds, a good 45 pounds down from the summer. Plus, I discovered a delicious new healthy recipe that was an answer to all my peanut butter prayers.

Community is back and better than ever. That last episode especially...


Oscar nominations. I still need to see a couple movies but I'm pretty happy with the choices this year. (12 Years a Slave needs to win all the things though.)

That's about it. Right now I have my happy lamp on while listening to my summer playlist. I hear there's another polar vortex coming. I'd rather not.

See you in February--a month not much better than January, but at least it has the decency to be short. Plus there's Groundhog Day.