So I've been thinking lately about the power of friendships and what exactly it means to be a friend. I've never had a "BFF" - you know, the one girl with whom you are inseparable, who you share all your secrets with, the girl everyone knows is your best friend. I've always had more of big group of closer friends, where each know a little part of me but none know everything about me.
This used to depress me a little bit. I was always jealous of those girls who just had that one girl they could do everything with. But I've also seen quite a lot of those friendships go down in flames - over really stupid things, too. These girls who once seemed so inseparable don't even talk to each other anymore. And that's just really sad.
So is there such a thing as being too close of a friend? Is there a danger in only having one close friend who knows everything about you? I think there is. I may not have a "BFF," but I have a lot of best friends. And I'm ok with that, I think.
What do you guys think?
Haha obviously this post completely relates to me. This is a good question and I actually feel kind of divided on the matter. (beware, this could be long)
ReplyDeleteLast year, having a "bff" was one of the funnest things ever. It was so nice to have someone to tell everything to and to be able to always have someone there for you. I always had someone to hang out with, someone to go shopping with and tell me if things looked good, someone to spill all my secrets to, etc. But at the same time, we were so close that we fought. A lot (you know this). But the next day we'd become friends again pretty much so it was ok. I also missed out on making friends with other people around me like my roommates and in my ward and maybe meeting boys. And it's super dangerous. She knows everything about me and I trusted her then, but now, she could tell people everything about me and possibly ruin my reputation.
But now I'm "best friend-less" and it stinks. I'm alone a lot, which is nice sometimes, but at the same time it would be nice to have someone there. I don't really just pour out my soul talking to anyone, because I don't have anyone like that to tell. Every once in a while, I'd love a real hug or a back massage or a shoulder to cry on. I feel like I haven't had any of that for a while and it's weird. I miss hugs. But at the same time, I've met so many new people. I'm actually pretty popular in my ward and I've been asked out on more dates. I'm way good friends with my roommates and other people that I otherwise wouldn't have been.
So I don't know. Honestly, I still wish I had a best friend. I miss being close with someone. Maybe I just wish I had someone to talk to all the time and comfort me when I'm sad. But it's been a good learning experience for me. I think if I ever get another best friend or when (if) I get a boyfriend, I'm going to try really hard not to spend all my time with them and keep nourishing relationships with other people too. I think I got really lucky in the fact that I have a lot of friends (like you :)) that completely took me back after I got ditched by my best friend. Seriously, I'm so lucky because I know I wasn't the best friend I could have been at all last year. Some people are probably not so lucky though. You just never know what could happen and you can rely your whole life on one person because if they really let you down and you have no one else, you crash to rock bottom.
Also (sorry this is way long) I'm learning to rely on myself a lot more now because I relyed on my best friend last year and not having that this year has made me really find ME. So the next time I have a best friend or enter a relationship, I will know and have learned a lot of things that I didn't know before and I'm grateful for that.
Sorry that was so long but I guess I just had a lot to say and I really wanted to answer your question. Thanks for posting this! :) You're awesome Chels, and I hope you know that I definitely consider you one of my best friends that I'm soooo lucky too have. Thanks :)
Thank you so much for your comment Kailee! Yeah, you were one of the friendships I was thinking of as I wrote this, and I do remember how much fun you seemed to have last year and I never said this obviously, but sometimes I was jealous that I didn't have a super close friend like that like you did. I used to get depressed that sometimes when I wanted to do something I didn't just have that one person I could call up who would always be there. But like you said, it definitely goes both ways. You got to meet people this year you wouldn't otherwise have, and even though it's hard, it is still nice to have had those experiences, yeah? and for me, since I didnt have that one person, I was able to become friends with a lot of different people with a lot of different personalities and interests, and it was great :)
ReplyDeleteWho knows, maybe someday I will have that person, but after seeing experiences like yours it does make me a little cautious and apprehensive to want to ever pour my whole being and effort into someone. It's all a learning experience, I guess.
And I love you sooo much, K! Thanks for being such an awesome and great friend :)Hope you're loving being at home!